Coming home has been a funny thing. Admittedly, I was a bit nervous to come home. Nervous to feel bored, antsy, unmotivated, over-motivated--- just everything. I let myself not have too many in-advance expectations, but I knew I wouldn't just come home to everything feeling as it always was. Thats not how travel typically works (usually in the most positive way). Like I said, sad to leave, but happy to come home. At no point was I sad to be home-- but even days before making my transit back, I knew I would prefer Marlowe and Alex to fly to me, instead of me heading back this way. Not for them or I to stay forever, no, but I don't know if I was ready to part India just yet. Going into the trip, I expected that my two weeks away would be slow, and I would be fed up and homesick, ready for home before the trip ended--- not because India would be terrible, because I knew it wouldn't be, but because outside of our travel adventures, I'm a homebody. Instead, I found that time flew by-- and with what felt like blink of an eye, I looked back and thought, "but where has the time gone?" Marlowe felt otherwise of course (time is harder on a four year old)--- but time was quick for me.
I never fully cried, I'm not a crier, you know, but tears swelled many times from my exit and into my journey home. Alex likes to poke fun and tell Marlowe "thats what summer camp is like--- everyone has the best time ever, makes best friends, and cries at the end"---- maybe he's right. I'm okay with that. I feel like I'm back at home, changed and figuring out what this new year will be like, with my new outlook. I haven't been through some drastic change or anything like that, but I am happy to have experienced new realities and outlooks. And I've been told--- since my trip, I couldn't be more mellow. In the everyday I tend to have two levels: mellow and ridiculous, but now the mellow part of me is taking over. It feels only slightly disconcerting, but mostly sort of warming. I've been the constant butt of Alex's jokes and impersonations (he's good at those): me seeming half stoned, slowly flipping my hair back, with a side nod, saying 'whatever works'. Unintentional slow motions and not thought through words, but apparent (and of course hilarious) to myself.
Coming home, I was somewhat nervous about Marlowe. How would she be? Happy, yes--- but mad? Or sad? Overly spoiled? Bratty? If she was, I'm knew it would be deserved on my end. Would she listen? Would she tantrum? All my mild fears have been dismissed. I've been pleasantly surprised to how good she's been. The same as she's ever been----- except, funny to Alex and I, she has a new english accent! Haha. In and out of random moments throughout the day with a newly acquired accent. When questioned about it, she's told us, she wanted to sound like Gordon Ramsey--- so there's that. A ridiculous and amazing tidbit to find upon my return. Lunches with my family where I get to giggle about impersonations and accents of all kinds.
I've written so many times about my pick up and go. And last year I felt settled--- no pressure to go, just putting my head down and powering through. This year, my self proclaimed year of travel, I'm ready for the next--- the next moment where I pack it all up again and experience something new. Happy to be settled and call this place our home, but in a constant daydream of 'where next?'
ps. for the first time in maybe 10 years I took selfies--- lots of them. It was like a selfie party while I was away. who knows why. Speaking of which, "selfie" is a worldwide term. We saw some pretty amazing selfies being taken throughout our trip.
pps. thank you for my birthday wishes. here and on IG. I spaced during travel and jet lag and never said thank you. So, thank you.
one more thing---- A long shot, but I'm searching for a two night staycation place. Anywhere from the middle of florida and down. It's spring break, so I know prices can increase a bit, but we're looking for something moderate priced to cheap. Nothing extravagant. If you have friends or family who are renting a place, preferably near the ocean or with a pool, please email me! Thanks!