Growing up my mom would say to me, "you're going to have seven daughters---- and they're all going to be exactly like you!"---- this was her threat to me. A scary thought, isn't it? She also warned me that I would be exactly like her--- and that my one day children would look at me how I look at her----- this thought, well let's be honest, it's still scary, but not as bad.
She was pretty far off on that seven daughters threat---- I've only got one peanut and I don't plan on pushing out any more--- thats not to say there won't be more in this household--- because well, even though I hoped to save this topic for another day----- it's coming up now: I do come in and out of the thought of one more child coming into this home, if and when the time is right. It's a scary idea to put out there--- to bring up adoption and possibly not follow through on it, but we can get into that some other time--- when it seems more relevant. For now, there is one. And she's actually not a lot like me. Facial expressions, yes. Love for the outdoors, yes. Building, yes. Art ideas, yes. And even fashion design (this seems funny now, but then it made sense when I was sewing dolls clothes at five). But our similarities end there. Marlowe is not like me---- she is a lot better than me. Lucky for me, she has made me a better person just by entering into my world.
As for me being like my mother? Well, I think her and Marlowe have more similarities between each other than I have with either of them, but I do believe I received some of my better traits from my mother. I have inherited my clean gene, my work-over drive gene, and my "look better with age" gene from her---- or I feel that way anyway, when I look back at old photos, but as we know we can't predict the future ;) And I can only hope I won't look back on current photos and not wonder why I thought I looked better.
I've never seen my mother not working hard--- not over-doing it--- and not wanting more. She's built a lot for us here, moving to America. More than grateful, I'm proud of her and I look up to her. She kept our home spotless, made dinner from scratch (almost) every night--- two meals most nights actually--- because we were painfully picky (spoiled, yes), and she worked endless hours, while never leaving us to feel unloved or uncared for. I do believe she did these things for us, my brother and I--- and maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like she also did this for herself. Like her (again, maybe I'm wrong), I feel more satisfaction and self worth when the day is done and I believe I've gained more. Keep in mind---- "gain" is a tricky word, because what we consider gain and achievements will vary from person to person, but when I lay my head down at night and I know my work feels incredibly satisfying, my home is clean, and most importantly, my family is loved, happy, and well fed, I feel like I've gained the world. It's not that my father doesn't offer me this knowledge, because he does (he's also incredibly steadfast when it comes to work), but I feel as if I watched this in my mother every single day of my life. And today, at almost thirty, I'm grateful for that bit of life-knowledge she was able to pass down to me, without ever saying a word. Just by living her life for herself--- and for us, she was able to give us the world.
I've got big big dreams on this end and I'll never stop reaching for many of them--- some of my dreams you've seen me reach in the past few years. I'm a realist and a believer in tangible things for sure, but I have that side of me that will never, ever stop dreaming up big ideas and taking many steps at a time to reach to them. I'm excited to share what I've been working so hard on this past few weeks, or is it months? Something I haven't really seen or found in this online space, a hopefully new idea to most of you. Maybe not something for everyone, but something exciting, fresh, and something that maybe a few of you can dream and plan your life into. Something for myself now, but something for my family soon, because one doesn't come without the other when it comes to my dreams. Like many of us who are mothers or daughters, it will forever be intertwined.
Happy mother's day to all the amazing women in my life.
*Funny story about the necklace above. I get a quite few emails that start off with "I know you're not a jewelry person....." --- which always make me laugh. I've never said I'm not a jewelry person, I actually very much am--- and for a good chunk of my adolescent life, I thought it would be amazing to be a jewelry designer. The thing is, I'm just very specific about the pieces I wear and (other than my wedding rings) I much prefer big pieces with brighter colors to contrast my typically grey and black outfit choices. Well, in the mail came a mother's day gift from Lisa, this necklace (which I chose--- and is perfect by the way)--- and a completely surprise necklace as well (the one above) and it's the daintiest little thing--- something so not typical of what I would choose, and wouldn't you know, I've never been so in love with something so dainty and sentimental. I do become more like my mother each day.
At the risk of making this sound like a sponsored post, do be sure go check out Lisa's shop, she's got some amazing and dainty ;) pieces you might love.