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A Birthday, And Thoughts On Us.


Taking pictures. Always lately. 

First of all, thank you thank you on my shared news on the book. I'm so excited! And so incredibly nervous and slightly overwhelmed---- in a good way, but still overwhelmed! I'm absolutely one of those types that second guesses almost everything I do, until its done. I know I just need to keep pushing forward, and stop worrying so much. I'm cleaning out a space this week--- a proper work space. A few people asked, and I will absolutely be sharing bits and pieces of this book project. Like I wrote yesterday on instagram, only three months left until the project needs to be sealed, delivered, and turned into the publisher! So crazy. I'm sure these months will fly by! We've been busy busy--- and hardly started. I've been working on my own projects, and helping here and there outside--- but Alex? He's been a super hero with the backyard this week (and in general of course). I can't wait to show you more of that progress too. 

We had the great pleasure of celebrating Alex's birthday last week. He's a big bad 21 years old. (kidding). I can joke about his age because I'm so much older and wiser than him. (kidding again). But seriously, Alex turned another year older--- and it was incredibly nice to spend the day with him. It's incredibly nice to spend a lot of time with him. There has been big shift this year--- with our work, our time, our relationship, with everything. We still butt heads on tiny things (a trip to buy lumber and other goods is almost certain to spark some side eyes and grumpiness), but overall, our relationship and family life is thriving. I've gone back on older posts here and there--- and things like this post, seem so far away. I was in a different place. He was in a different place. We were in a different place. We were building our relationship again, and it was hard. Really hard. A constant battle, a power struggle. I felt like I was giving up my freedom and our family life was still suffering with his schedule. 

Alex still works until the late hours of the night (He's home around 1 am) most nights--- but now he goes in much later around 1pm, and that little bit of extra time? Along with us finding and grounding our roles in this home and in our relationship, has made such a BIG difference. Our schedule is different than most others, but its a good one. A really good one. I held on to past resentments with him for a long time. A long long time. We were together, and I was still angry about raising Marlowe alone. But now, all past anger, it's gone. Really gone. Honestly, it's not rare for me to just completely forget about us not being together in the beginning. It's not until someone mentions it, or I look through old photos, that I realize, that I was doing it alone and was angry. With all those past resentments, well, in the past, things are better, and our relationship, it's enjoyed by me, by both of us, and of course by Marlowe too.

I love him and I'm grateful for the battles we fought through to make it here. I appreciate Alex and all he does in our home, outside our home, and for our family. I'm grateful that days like his birthday come and I truly want to celebrate him and cheers to him. There's no anger in the way. Just celebrations of who he is. He's a great guy, with a big squishy heart, and he makes the best pizza and bread in all the land---- which you can expect to find in the cookbook too ;) I've loved him for a long, long time, and that's not at all changing, just growing. 

Happy Birthday Alex, you make a handsome 19 year old. (kidding again.)

ps. Alex was the one that brought to my attention that I always self doubt in between. I mean, I know I do, but I never really realized it until we were working on the mosaic stairs together. He said to me, "you make great work, but you always doubt your process." I'm not sure why that one line stands out to me so much, but it really does. There's value to me in that statement. It makes me feel better in moving forward. 

13 comments:

  1. Someone once told me that the person we are with would be the one that taught us the most about ourselves. And that often we end up being the yin to their yang, but the goal is to help each other grow together and push each other to be even better versions of ourselves. I no longer feel resentment towards my husband for not being exactly like me, or for any struggles we've had in the past. I look at it as necessary and worth it for getting us to where we are now. As long as both people can see the point and the importance of the overall growth, we will probably get less stuck on any of the "specifics". And hopefully, we teach our children to do the same :) Glad you spent a wonderful birthday with Alex!

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  2. You are so strong and brave for letting that anger go. Forgiving, letting resentment go, etc. is one of the hardest things we will ever do in relationships, but most of the time it needs to be done. It's important so that you can move on and be happy. You all seem so happy. Your hardwork is clearly paying off! Congrats on the book and happy birthday, Alex!

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  3. Those pictures look so warm and summery and happy. :) love it.
    xox
    giedre

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  4. Thank you for sharing. I love how you open up about how far you have come. Its incredibly inspiring to see growth happening in another person. Also, Happy Birthday Alex!

    Vivian
    simplesublte.squarespace.com

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  5. happy birthday alex! so happy to read these words of yours and to see how your relationship has grown.

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  6. Congratulations on your book :) And the birthday of Alex :)

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  7. Your family is so adorable! I think that a true family goes through battles, and that's what makes their love beautiful...

    Sammi at Sammi Sunshine- A Food Blog

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  8. Omg whenever you said those ages, I was like WHAAATT! But then you said "just kidding" and I felt like I could breathe again :P

    Congrats again on your new cookbook deal! I've been reading your blog since before you re- got together with Alex and I can't believe all the changes that have happened! I'm so excited to see what's ahead for you and your adorable family :)

    Wishing you the best of luck for all the adventures in the future! Oh and belated happy birthday, Alex! :)

    http://everydayingrace.blogspot.ca/

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  9. Happy Birthday to Alex. Things are going well for you Drea, I am so happy for you. The garden is looking beautiful, he's been working hard! Enjoy the rest of the week.

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  10. It's funny how you randomly come upon reads that you can apply to your life at the exact moment you are reading them. This is such a beautiful and open post thank you for posting it. Just this little read has made a difference in my perspective.

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  11. Your writing gives me hope and your photography feeds my soul. I can't resist coming back for more. You are incredibly talented.

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  12. My hours totally give me and my man issues sometimes. Enjoy your blog and insty so much, mama!

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