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2014, A Year Of Lucidity



"Imagine having to carry everything you own"

I want clarity. I want focus. I want to know what I'm doing and not question, "what (mess) do I start with today?" For me, a cluttered home gives me a cloudy mind. I freeze and I'm stuck. A cycle of anxiety. I lose focus, the clutter builds up, the anxiety climbs, I freeze, and the clutter continues to build, making anxiety worse. I sat on my couch the day after christmas and I cried. I wondered when did I lose so much control of my surroundings (my belongings)... it felt like I was (&this sounds more dramatic than it is) losing control of my life. I like things. I like beautiful things. And well built things. I like the aesthetic feel that a home with collected items can bring. And I can't deny having certain attachments to tangible things, but a world of material sits very uncomfortable on top of my chest. I want it out. More of it out. This isn't the first time, or the last time that I'll write about minimizing my life, but I'm at the breaking point where I need it out. Things don't bring me fulfillment. And more things I don't need, will actually bring me upset. 

I can't focus within the clutter. I want my goals to be set and I want enough clarity in my life to accomplish those goals. No more excuses. No more clutter (cloudy mind, un-focus) in my way.  I want to continue on the path I was on, but I want my path to not be so heavy. All the things I own are too much. I want to find a balance between having the least amount in my home for myself to feel restful and lucid, while having enough in my home for others to feel comfortable and fulfilled. 

I wrote about my one year plan, and then my even more scary two year plan (it's hard for me to put those things out there), and I feel like I'm really ready to conquer those things.... and/or everything I've once set out for. I feel like I can finally stop using my procrastination against myself... my pick up, let go, wander off, drop off "artist mentality" and just start and finish my goals... I just need to get the crap out first. Like I mentioned the other day, I accomplished (almost!) all my goals from last year. I've had real, attainable goals, that I just keep building on, in the new year and always. There's no promise of the gym this year for me, or flossing regularly, or doing anything that requires my focus every single day (other than what I already do). I have a few big goals---starting with a mini version of my two year plan, then moving on from there, but mostly, I just want to keep doing what I've been doing. I have a healthy happy home, family, life and I only want to that to continue to thrive--- even more than it already has. And I want it all with a lucid self and light path.


Imagine having to carry everything you own.
a meditation. over and over again.


*speaking of lucid (dreams), I've been doing it... I've almost completely conquered my lucid dreams. I still have them from time to time, but I now know how to take out almost all the bad and fill my dreams with good! I feel like if anything, that was one of the biggest things I could accomplish last year/in this life. 

24 comments:

  1. Hi Drea - I love this because its exactly how I feel. I'm a collector (and a designer) so I love beautiful things, especially if they have a story or meaning to me, but the clutter can be distracting! I've been trying to simplify and purge and let go of things over the last year, and that has been a process in itself. But a little bit at a time can make a huge difference.
    By the way, I live in South Florida too and am so happy to have found another local blogger! Look forward to reading more of your journey. :)

    PS. I shared my goals and word on my blog as well: http://www.simplynomad.blogspot.com

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    1. Hi! I'm going to check out your blog tonight after this laundry gets put away! Nice to meet more south florida people! Today was rainy, but yesterday was beautiful, wasnt it?!

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  2. Oh. I can so relate to how you feel. I can be a bit chaotic when it comes to my thinking, my talking, the way my mind jumps from one point to another, how my voice can stumble from one subject to a complete different one in a conversation. But at the same time I HAVE to have some sort of clarity around me, to have the things organized and clean,without clutter and chaos. Only then I can function. In a lot of chaos, my mind starts to tumble and twirl and I feel like I can't think straight anymore, let alone do anything productive.

    Beautifully written. And now I am off to read those one year and two year plans you linked to. I didn't make any plans or resolutions for the next year yet, but I might be inspired ;-)

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    1. Exactly. My brain is chaotic enough, I need structure around me :) Happy New Year!

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  3. I can definitely relate to this blog a lot. I feel like that's how my life had been recently; everything just keeps on building up until I have a mental breakdown. I also made a one year plan which will hopefully help with clearing up the clutter in my life.

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    1. exactly build build build fall. I've managed to work out a balance with everything else in my life but I never fully sorted through enough clutter! This week (and probably next: GONE!

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  4. Oh, this is so beautifully written - I love when you said "Things don't bring me fulfillment" - this is so true and I too am trying to simplify my surroundings. Wishing you a clear mind and that you will accomplish everything you set your heart to!

    Happy New Year!

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  5. like everyone above, i can so relate to every single word of this. every one. clutter weighs me down and makes me start to itch. i have a love/hate with possessions. i like stuff as much as the next person but i loathe coveting – yet sometimes i covet. i know better than to compare but sometimes i compare. and then my space fills up, then drives me crazy, then i purge and vow not to get caught up in that cycle again. and then do. i've realized it's a process but, at the end of the day, i'm stoked to have the awareness.
    imagine carrying everything you own – so good.
    happy new year. xx

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    1. <3<3 love/hate relationship for sure! work work work though it.
      Happy New Year!

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  6. I feel like I can relate to absolutely everything you said. My husband and I have only been married for two years and we don't have children yet, so some days I look around and I'm like "where they heck did all this clutter come from?" Somehow we manage to just collect things. I struggle a lot with holding on to material things instead of the the eternal things, and I think it will always been a battle for me. But I am glad that at least for now I can be sure I am not alone in this.

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    1. ugh.... just wait.. once the kid(s) come everything doubles, instantly. Alex and I have always had a bit of clutter/extra unneeded belongings... but enter M and it was a whole new ballgame. Get rid of the clutter now, before the chaos hits!

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  7. Drea this is wonderful. I couldn't agree more. I function much better with a clear heart and home. I guess that is why I want to simplify in every area of my life. Thanks for always evoking good thought! Love!

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  8. what a beautiful post, drea! i have been dealing with the same desire to rid my home (and life) of all of the insignificant clutter and things that weigh me down. i've just begun to actually go through everything and donate them, and it feels SO. GOOD. looking forward to reading more about your process and goals ;)

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  9. girl, you and me and a cluttered home. we could be twins. the only thing that causes me anxiety is clutter.

    hoping to link up. if i actually sit down and write my thoughts out ;)
    xo

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  10. It's so comforting to know I wasn't the only one crying on 12/26 about the clutter. I think being a parent adds a greater dimension of worry and anxiety associated with the clutter-at least for me as I start to worry that my girls will be dependent on material things to make them happy. I will be decluttering for at least a month. But let's celebrate when we reach the goal?! Please post again after you have cleared the clutter-great and comforting post-)

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  11. I LOVE this post, and I can totally relate. My desperate hope to get through the winter with happy memories and contentment is to clean out all my closets and cabinets! :)

    Wishing you success ;)

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  12. Oh my gosh, I could have written this exact post. Clutter freezes me, too! I get overwhelmed very easily when clutter consumes our house. It happens often, and I hate it. I'm so happy I found your blog - I cannot wait to read more!

    Breanna
    www.countingblessings-blog.com

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  13. Yes! I have carried everything I own on my back for 4 years in total in my life (I'm 27) and it remains the happiest I've ever been! It's a feeling that I cannot replicate and will most likely spend the rest of my life chasing. Xx

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  14. I can relate very much to this. I choose a simple life, filled with memories not stuff. Back in 2010 I felt unexpectedly overwhelmed by my stuff. It started by donating everything in my bedroom including my bed. Over the years it then went to slimming my wardrobe (which was already pretty slim). We've gone from enough stuff to fill an 18 wheeler truck to what can fill a van. Every downsize gave us joy and taught us great lessons about connection and what we want our connections to be with. Recently we bought an RV and live in it, slimming down on square space. We love living in less and appreciating more. Cheers to the simple life.

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  15. got outside of my box and tried this out. thanks so much. :)

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  16. Agreed completely! Clutter is an energy suck. Three years ago I started a 15 minute feng shui technique that has finally cured my clutter problem, and the toddlers are learning as we'll :-) It's detailed here lifeimagined.org

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  17. Agreed completely! Clutter is a time and energy drain. I started using a 15 minute feng shui trick three years ago and am now clutter free. Best part is my toddlers growing up without clutter!
    If you want to check it out its on my blog lifeimagined.org

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