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See Ya Next Week Florida!

Welp, M and I are off today. Alex, Jerry, and the chickens (who still hate me) will be here tending house.

I like traveling with little miss M. She's a really great travel buddy-- always has been. Even as a baby, I've never had issues traveling with her. Thankfully. I can't imagine not easily traveling with kids. No way, not at all. I need to be able to be on the go and I need people in my life who can do it with me :) I mean, she's not great at car rides-- well, I'm sure she would be if I stuck a device in front of her-- maybe one day. But she's great on planes. We're doing two night flights to CA, hoping we both sleep on them. I probably won't, but hopefully. Our next flights, to Massachusetts, in three weeks, is during the day--- and much shorter too, so that'll be even easier. I feel like I've gotten moderately better at flying-- it's just when the turbulence hits that I lose it now. heh. But I'm breathing in and out and trying not to share my fear with Marlowe. So far so good.

I bought this book in LA this past month. For the flight home. I haven't finished it yet (even though its really short), so I'm hoping to finish it up on this trip.

I've made a pretty awesome food list for the bay area so far. I have to put it all into a map :) If you have any other food recs for San Fran, San Jose, Berkley, Oakland, or surrounding areas, please let me know :) We don't have too many concrete plans yet. just hanging out with friends, trying to sleep enough, asian massages (without the happy ending please), and eating loads of food. It should be a really good trip :)

A few people on IG and snapchat messaged me about meeting up. I'm for it. I mean, I met the friends we're staying with in CA via the internet :) And now they're people I want in my life everyday. I love them so much-- so I'm usually put o meet more people-- just bad at planning. But if you're in the bay and want to meet up, maybe at the botanical gardens or lunch or something, email me :)

Alright friends. I'm going to pack up my electronics and tie up all the loose ends before M and I head out :) Cant wait to take (and share) CA photos :)

See our recent LA trip: HERE
And our past Bay Area trip HERE



Hey guys, so hows everyone's weekend been? Mine was good-- painfully tiring-- but maybe thats a good sign I had fun? I feel like I've been majorly m.i.a. lately. Though I don't think most people would call 3-5 days away from the internet (while using snapchat at least every other day) *m.i.a. from the internet*, right? haha. But me not posting 5 days a week on the blog and everyday on instagram is pretty weird for me anyway.

Speaking of instagram, did your feeds change over to the new algorithm? Mine hasn't yet, thankfully, but I know Alex's feed is no longer in chronological order. I like to call this "the beginning of the end of instagram".  Changes like this certainly caused the end of Facebook for most people. But who knows what will happen. Instagram isn't exactly an *instant* thing for most people anymore anyway. Ya know? Personally, I feel like I'm in a weird funk with instagram this past week anyway. Or with photo taking in general. I've hardly taken any photos at all. I want to though. I'm sure our California trip this week will help. I'm excited to go off with Miss M. my second of four trips this summer. And I know four can seem like a lot of trips for a three month period, but I wish I was taking five or six, haha. I seriously just want to be everywhere at once, like my thoughts.

I feel like I don't have much too say, but mostly because my mind is overloaded (more than usual) and I don't even know where to start with putting my ideas to writing. Hmmm. I've been dreaming a lot lately. Super intense dreams at night and super day dreaming thoughts too. I swear, you could leave me in a sunny field for hours, with some headphone on and I'd be smiling the whole entire time. Alex was right, there are definitely ants pinging around in my head-- but there's also a super amazing bollywood story going on at all times too, haha. I'm weird, it's okay.

Anyway, I'm beyond exhausted. I'm not even making sense to myself and the dark circles under my eyes are INTENSE. Super sexy too. I kept Marlowe up pretty late tonight (the two of us went on a little movie theatre date) so I'm definitely hoping she sleeps in tomorrow and I get all caught up on my sleep :) And I finally finished Felicity (it's left me with so many question on my own life--- again, because I'm super weird and overthink everything, but whatever) so theres no reason for me to keep myself up tonight ;) We all can dream big, right?

Alright friends, I'm hoping I'm in more working order tomorrow. Hope you guys had an amazing weekend! Happy monday!


Dining Room Going Green

*This post is sponsored by Valspar paint
Do you ever just get the urge to paint your house? I get it all too often. Alex and I have been planning to paint the exterior for quite some time nowwe even have our colors picked out. But right now, I'm looking at smaller projects like, "Well, maybe we should finally do that." You guys have seen our dining room before. It's decent, in my opinion, but my biggest regret is not painting the walls white when I moved in. I painted the lower half white but left the top half a cream color out of sheer laziness. So the other day, I was sitting on my couch, looking across the house, and I turned to Alex: "We should paint the dining room." He didn't jump and say, "YAY BEST IDEA EVER!" (though he maybe should?), but he agreed that maybe it was time to paint the dining room. Most of the walls in our house are white, so we both agreed we should try a much bolder color in this room. 

When I realized that Valspar had created a Zero VOC* paint line, I was like, "YAY MORE COMPANIES GOING GREEN!"because, duh, perfect timing! 

I know I've touched on it before, but it was probably 3 or 4 years ago when I moved in here. But choosing the right paint is super important. Not just the color-choosing part (though that's obviously super important), but also the type of paint. VOCs (Volatile Organic Compounds) can be dangerous. They have a negative impact on air quality and, in turn, your health. Health effects from VOCs range anywhere from allergies to headaches and in the most extreme cases cancer. They're badreally bad. So when you're thinking about painting your homeespecially bedrooms (but really any part of your home)think about the type of air you want to be breathing in. Is it something toxic or something much safer? I mean, the answer is simple really. 

So yeah, to see more paint companies coming around with zero VOC paintand available for purchase at Lowe’s? Well, that's pretty rad in my opinion. Also, in a ton of colors! When I have found zero VOC paints in the past, the selection has been very limited. But Valspar Zero VOC* paint had a TON of options! Endless options! Visit your local Lowe’s to find a color you’ll love.

We left Lowe's with a flamingo friend and three cans of Valspar Reserve Zero VOC* paint. There were a few options, but that one was supposed to be the best—- and have the best coverage for sure. A one, *maybe* two coat business and you’re done. Sounds good to us. And the flamingo was necessary, obviously. 

We're excited! And a tad bit nervous, haha. But mostly excited! I haven't done a bold and bright-colored wall in maybe 9 yearsbut we're thinking it should come out pretty good. Any guesses on the color we chose? Can't wait to show you! 

*This product contains 0 g/L VOC as calculated within the margin of error by EPA Method 24 

Valspar helps you breathe easy


Hi friends! How was your weekend? We had a pretty good one :) A fun saturday and a laid back sunday. Just what we needed. I can't wait to put the saturday pictures on my computer :) A lot of cuteness.

My head has been racing everywhere lately. Alex told me that when he thinks about my thoughts and emotions he just pictures a little ant pinging around an ant farm. Ping ping ping, quickly in and out of every room and crevice. I'd say that's pretty accurate, though to be honest, it usually feels like too many ants visiting my oh so many thoughts. Oh well, thats me. I've always been that way. And I've certainly been this way lately. The good news is, it's been mostly good thoughts, with the exception of a few nightmares I've had, I don't think I've been dwelling on any negative stuff at all. Just realities and future ideas.

There seems to be a lot of questions about the future, but isn't there always? Aren't we all just waiting to see what happens. Or not waiting, but living. There has been so much change in our home and in me this past year, it's really quite crazy. And this next year is guaranteed to bring a lot of change too. Alex and I had a pretty good talk yesterday--- I let out a lot of my thoughts that have been floating through my head. The what if's and maybe's. It's hard to have closure on what if's and maybe, isn't there? We both decided that this year would bring a lot of change for our family-- probably some of the bigger changes the three of us have experienced together-- and thats okay. We'll see what happens.

I'm not really scared of the future anymore. I think especially after this year, I'm just seeing how short life is, and whatever happens, will happen. I tell this to Alex, almost all the time-- that you've got to find a way to be happy no matter what is going on. And maybe not outwardly happy in whatever situation is going on, especially if it's a shitty one, but you've got to find a way to feel grateful. Because essentially happiness is just gratitude. You know?

I feel better now. For the past year and a half whenever I was asked how I was feeling, I would painfully say, "breathing in and breathing out"-- because that's all I could really say. Thats all I was really able to do. Breathe in, breathe out. It's that moment where you run into someone you haven't seen in a while and they ask how your day is going and you don't want to pour out all the bad things that happened that day, you just smile and say "good". Keep it easy. That was me everyday. Every single day.

But for the first time, I've been able to give a response with a smile-- I've been able to say,

"I'm good, I'm getting better!"

Am I in the same place as I was before? No. Am I better than before? No. But that's okay. I'm just in a different place. And to be quite honest-- I think some of the changes that were brought on by this past year are in fact better than before. Parts of me that have changed and grown have been positive. Very positive. Physically, I'm still rather thin, out of shape, and my stomach still struggles (to name a few things of an endless list) but emotionally, I'm stronger than before. Calmer than before. More mindful, more peaceful, and more stable than before. This year taught me how to slow down--- and it did teach me to breathe in and breathe out, every single day. I can confidently say, I feel human once again. I feel alive and living once again and I want to be present in this feeling.

Like I said, I don't know what this next year will bring. I've thought of future plans for my family. And Ive thought of separate plans for myself. For now we're still mostly going through the actions. The day to day. I'm still trying to figure out if I thrive better with stability or in change. Sometimes I think I'm not meant for routine and then I look back through my day or my week and see how truly routine my life has become. I think I fall somewhere in between the line of being content with routine and feeling sparks of liveliness in the mix up.

I know I mentioned big changes were coming before. We laid out two options in front of ourselves. One was stay and grow here. One was pick up and go for a year-- my original first choice. We're going to stay and grow here. I thought this choice would make me antsy or angry or unhappy. But it doesn't. It's just part of the path we're taking. And it'll lead to the next change, whatever that may be.

When I'm asked what's next, I tell my friends about our family plans for the future-- for this year-- a straight forward business plan.

And then I tell them, as for me, this. Right now it's just this. I want to keep sharing and oversharing my thoughts on this space. There are times when I'm not completely certain about it-- but then I stick with it and I'm always happy I do. Because I then find myself on days like today where I sit down with intentions of posting something completely different and without planning to, I find comfort in spilling out my guts once again. I want to stay here, working in this space. And working on myself. For now, the only plan for me is to keep moving forward, and doing all the things I like best. Searching for and being part of as many happy moments as I can. I want to spend more time with friends. I want go to out at night again-- dinner, dancing, all the happy things that I enjoyed before last year. I want to enjoy my home space. Enjoy wild energy, and quiet moments to myself. I just want to be here, doing the things that make me happy. That's my plan. Life is short, I'm here to enjoy it. And I want to take more chances. Again. Like I used to. I want to live in a routine-- but cap it off somewhere too. I want to feel awe-inspiring but stable emotions. Slightly contradictory feelings, I know, but I think I'm capable of both.

At this point, I think we're all capable of everything. The health anxieties I've experienced this year are leaving. The emotional and personal anxieties I've experienced my whole life are leaving too. I'm not sure if it's because of this last year, my diet change, my breathing in and breathing out, or all of the above, but I can no longer picture an opportunity for panic. There is no panic anymore. I'm mindful of what I choose to surround me in my life. I'm mindful of my own emotions, that sometimes they might get tangled or confused. I am human. Our wants, desires, and feelings don't always have to make sense. They just are. Sometimes I might overstep myself or my own boundaries and that is okay. whether I step back or step forward, I'm still here, ready to enjoy everything in front of me.

Life is good here and I am grateful.

Have a wonderful week friends. Thank you again for being here. For letting me spill my emotions here (as grammatically incorrect as they may be), for letting me share snippets of my life in picture form on insatgram, and show my face and randomness on snapchat too. Thank you. Happy monday.